Wikipedia describes it as a normal stage in a child’s development in which a toddler can regularly bounce between reliance on adults, and a newly burgeoning desire for independence. It however gets deeper than the description, the term ‘terrible two’ as they are often referred to is basically derived from the weird behavior and mood shifts parents observe from their two-year-old toddlers or there about.
Terrible twos happen during a child’s intellectual and physical growth. Its inception is marked by frustrations, defiant behavior and throwing of tantrums by the baby. It doesn’t necessarily kick off immediately a child turns 2 and can also last way past the third year.
Parents should however understand that children constant yelling is not a direct form of resistance but a way of expressing anger. Research has it that two-year old children are at a stage where they are constantly struggling with the desire for independence and reliance to their parents. For this reason, they strive to do things personally without assistance and only then do they realize there is a protocol to that effect. This is what brings about the rebellion.
The terrible twos are identified by antagonistic behaviors towards their parents like: –
- Fluctuating moods
The child might be all loving, mushy, and all over sudden starts yelling. It happens so fast you won’t be able to figure out the cause. This in most cases is brought about by anxiety which makes the child freak out instantly.
- Objectiveness
Some children are so warm to normal routines like to diaper change, feeding, shower and changing of clothes then you wake up one morning and nothing among these excite them anymore.
- Throwing of tantrums and aggression
In normal cases children run to their parents, sit on their laps and play peacefully. You will be shocked when one day the routine changes drastically. You will be drawn to either a lung full scream, throwing of objects around them at you or worse still hitting their head on the floor just to grab your attention. Mainly tantrums are symptoms that the child is dealing with excess anger which is mostly brought about by unregulated emotions.
Here is to coping and managing a ‘Terrible Two’
- Children at this stage often believe they can have things done their way and your decisions hardly settles well with them. Try giving a brief explanation and examples of every rule you create. This helps them grasp faster and understand clearly.
- Remember a good deed deserves another. Motivate the child by rewarding him whenever he displays any form of good behavior mostly in public. This also helps boost a child’s self-esteem knowing he is doing the right thing and the parent is happy with him.
- Discipline plays a major role in handling a ‘terrible two’ be sure to make them understand that actions and choices do have consequences. When a child throws a tantrum after doing wrong, penalize them by confiscating a toy or denying them a treat mostly of their favorite snack. This will send a sharp warning and reducing repeat.
- Have a constant routine in your child’s everyday activities and well-being. Frequent change of routine often leaves the child confused which easily provokes them.
- Be sure to have your child well fed and dressed in favor of the weather. Sweat or itchy skin, and hunger are known to provoke tantrums in a child. Like they say a hungry child equals an angry child.
- Manage your anger; two wrongs don’t make a right. Be calms and takes a deep breath or do the miraculous backward counts before reacting to anything they do.
- No one wants a violent child and children react in equal measure to your action. Avoid frequent yelling, spanking and hitting lest they absorb it.
- Redirect their attention towards something else when they start whining, yelling or demanding. It helps in distracting them hence naturally taking care of the current situation or doing away with what they want.
- Allow them a little control as this will help them affirm their importance. You can do this by offering choices; it could be a dress, toy or fruit. Present two and allow them to choose their preference.
- Your parental values are as important as the child. Hence, it’s advisable to set your limits and stand by them. A child should not always have their way as you stand a change of losing your parental values. If the tantrums are directed towards something you won’t allow, say no and root your ground. The English men say respect is earned and that begins at this very stage. Sooner or later they will know what can or can’t work.
- Always keep your child in a safe environment to avoid minor injuries during rebellion.
- According to a Canadian study, sleep help in boosting and developing a child’s brain. Be sure to allow adequate routine power naps and sleep without interference. A good sleep equally shapes a child’s mood hence fewer tantrums.
- Be in cognizant of the fact that this is a stage, and it too shall pass, do not allow it get to you but rather be patient enough to understand and know how to handle their excesses
Note to you as a parent: ‘terrible two’ is a normal development stage in two-year old children, and not a medical condition. However, when the outbursts become so severe that they interfere with your child’s daily life then it is time to seek medical attention. The child may be needing therapy that may help with behavioral change, and stress management. In worst case scenario the child could be suffering from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Wikipedia describes this as a mental health disorder that can cause above-normal levels of hyperactive and impulsive behaviors.
ADHD which contributes to low self-esteem and difficulty at school work can live all the way through childhood to adulthood. There is, however, no cause for alarm as it can be handled through medication and therapy.