Ella had just joined university when she thought she had met the love of her life, Joe. She had never quite been in love with any one during her 22 years of age in this world; so when she met Joe, she fell head over heels. Their whirlwind romance was one that many envied. He was tall and very handsome; a ladies man. She was very pretty, loyal and naïve. They were inseparable. But barely a month into the relationship, Joe, who was in his third year of school, started pressuring her into having sex. Unbeknownst to Ella, he had a vast experience with the ladies and was considered a player around his circle. So she found herself in a dilemma; she prided herself at being a virgin and wanted to save herself for marriage but at the same time, she didn’t want to lose her soul mate! She talked to her close friends about it and quickly found out that she would lose Joe to someone else if she didn’t make him happy, so she gave in.
A few weeks later, her relationship with Joe soon became a confusing one. She fell more in love by the day, but that was not the case for him. He had already gotten what he wanted and was ready to move on to the next. And as she tried to keep and please him, she realized she was pregnant. Her world came to a literal standstill. She was afraid of what her parents would say, how her future would be, but also somewhat glad that she was special for she could now keep Joe all to herself since she carried his child. That was not the case. When Joe found out, he accused her of cheating and denied being the father and quickly ghosted her.
She never once considered getting rid of the pregnancy as her friends pushed her to. But she was lost and distraught because she had to face her parents and be a parent by herself. Her pregnancy was a smooth one, but was emotionally draining and was not ready for the task ahead. She had not figured out who she was and who she wanted to be. She had not figured out life as it was. She could not enjoy and have fun with her friends for there was a great responsibility that lied ahead.
Over the years, statistics show that women all over the world have had their children in their 20’s. This has always been the norm because when younger, women have a greater chance of conceiving and have less fertility issues as compared to being a bit older. Getting children at this age, usually reduces your chances of having complications during pregnancy, have the energy to run around after your child and your circle of friends and family is always ready to help. You also get to learn important lessons sooner and have plenty of time to get other kids.
On the contrary, having a child in your 20s has its disadvantages too. To begin with, many women are not fully financially stable to care for their children and their careers may take some time to take off. Many women are not emotionally and psychologically ready to care for their children and do not really grasp responsibility as compared to if they were a bit older. Their social life becomes greatly affected as they have an undeniable responsibility at a young age and therefore cannot enjoy their young lives as they should. Also, society will always judge if you have your kids young and worse so if you are unmarried.
Wanjiku got married at the age of 32; a big grand wedding that she had always dreamt about. She had her life set and had planned out how she wanted her life to play out at every step. She was at the peak of her career and when her husband brought up the kid discussion, she had asked for more time. Wanjiku had always wanted a family, but she also wanted a successful career. She always had big dreams for herself; financially stable, blossoming career and an amazing family. But something had to give. Something had to suffer as the others grew. So at 35, and due to pressures around her, she finally decided to have children. So she put a lot of energy in preparing for pregnancy and childbirth. She read and researched and visited her gynecologist often to learn as much as she could for the journey ahead. She was not leaving anything to chance. But conceiving proved to be a bit difficult and had to take fertility drugs to help her out.
At 36, she finally conceived and there started her journey. But it proved to be a rough one as her pregnancy was high risk. She had gestational diabetes and high blood pressure, factors her doctor attributed to her age.
Studies have shown that women who have children when a bit older, the especially late 30s usually have a high-risk pregnancy due to their age. Most women experience, preeclampsia, stillbirths, miscarriage, low infant birth weight, chromosomal abnormalities among other health issues. The fertility of a woman gradually starts to decline at the age of 32 which makes the chances of conceiving at an older age very hard. Also, their circle of friends and family has reduced where help and support may greatly reduce and their career may need to take a break. The society also tends to judge someone when they decide to get their children later in life.
But on the flip side, there are some advantages in delaying having a family. You’ll have time to establish a relationship with your partner or husband in a more mature way. You’ll have set up yourself in a great financial position where your child’s financial security will be safe. When older, one is more mature, wise and patient and can handle situations better. Also, you will have already kicked off and settled in your career and are emotionally and psychologically ready to have children since much thought is put into it.
Although most pregnancy issues are unique to all women, age still plays a great factor on major issues relating to the health of the mother and the baby. Time has shown that despite having children when younger or older, there are still factors that cut across; financial stability, emotional preparedness, support and career.
Altogether, mothers of all ages still play an important role in the lives of their children. Mothers sacrifice, nurture, love, and care for the general wellbeing of their children for the rest of their lives.