Growing up as an orphan is one of the worst experiences that any child could face. Be it the mother, father or both that passes on; it’s all the same tragic.
However, the worst that can happen is that both parents are alive, but their presence means nothing.
Many are the times that dads feel like the third or fourth wheel at home, and without any voice. But the big question remains to be; why are they left out especially, in parenting role?
There must be an answer to that question, but before we get to the solution, let’s get to know;
The Role of a Dad in a Family
What you should know is that in every home, there is a man, a father and a dad. The differences depend on the roles of that they play.
Man
The man here is just a male figure within the homestead, yes they may be working and providing, but their presence is not significant whatsoever.
Their principal roles are siring children, sending or bringing some basic necessities and that’s it! No close relationship with children or the mother or anything.
Father
He is more of a man; he likewise plays some essential roles in the home and therefore, attracts some attention.
A father; provides, spends time with family, very responsible enough to rely on, provide security to the wife and children, available when need arise among other household duties.
A Dad
“Hey honey, your grades are not good like last time, you have to do something about it, sure daddy, but you’ll buy me a headboard.” Now that’s a dad.
A dad is very engaging.
He ensures direct contact and interaction with the children; therefore, he’s so close to the children to the point of sharing deep issues such as; sexuality, solving conflicts, career, among others.
Dads build such a strong bond and form a wall of protection for the family to the point that the entire home looks up to them for every serious and important matter.
Dads are responsible.
He arranges resources available to the family; he is hence, a provider, teacher, caregiver, a monitor and other great traits.
He doesn’t need to have time; he instead creates time to spend with the family, run errands, engages in child-related maintenance, and does fly fishing and the likes.
Dads are always available.
They make themselves present always even if they are away by because they make calls to check on loved ones, attend school meetings for the children, the wives therefore, do not have to worry if they leave him with toddlers.
They always make themselves fun to be around. And in addition to that, makes punishment inevitable when necessary, to keep discipline in check.
However, despite these qualities, he may feel like an outsider and become forgotten in the role of parenting.
Why Dads are neglected in Parenting Role
There are different reasons why dads can be left out when bringing up the kids. The reasons may at some point vary, depending on circumstances.
Financial Incapability
Deep-pocketed wives especially, those who contribute a large percentage in finances for family upkeep may be one of the causes.
The financial position of the dad may not allow him to have a voice in the home. For instance, he can’t negotiate about the schools’ children have to attend, or any other role in the family that relates to money.
Therefore, it’s in such cases that they tend to disengage from the roles for fear of being insulted and humiliated or even getting a divorce.
A Sudden Change of Character
A rapid transition of behavior may take due to various reasons like; loss of a loved one, job, peer influence or any other negative thing.
Whenever such happen, it affects them tremendously, which may, in turn, lead to becoming irresponsible, less-engaging, harsh to spouse and children, and so on.
It’s at that point that the attitude of the children or the wife will have an abrupt turnaround towards him, hence, don’t involve in the family affairs and issues that pertain to decision making processes.
Fear to Take Responsibilities
Being a parent means responsibilities. That, however, may not be the case for some since not all are willing to bear them.
And albeit some of them have all the great qualities, they may at one sometime get it all wrong when it comes to sharing duties. That’s because it comes with critical tasks which require perseverance, a trait which very few posses.
Inferiority Complex
It is sometimes unfortunate that although dads desire to offer the best to their families, and count as key in carrying out duties, their profound feelings about themselves discourage them.
The inferior feeling comes as a result of various scenarios, mainly; family background, hardship in life, or even mental health. The sequels of being in such a state will become evident because they become aliens in family-related roles.
They Have no Choice
One of the worst things that can happen to a family is when all the family members seem to gang up vis-à-vis a member. It is very traumatizing because you may have no choice to handle the situation.
That may happen where the conduct of the children is inappropriate, and despite their behaviours, the mother side with them, a big challenge!
It’s then that mother and children become hostile and decide to leave dad out of their lives, thus not even regard him as part of them at all cost.
The Final Verdict
Being a man, father or a dad is indisputable, that’s because they play a vital role in the social, cognitive and emotional developments of their dependants.
They are ever-present, engaged, supportive and sensitive, affectionate and nurturing. Therefore, whether dad doesn’t possess all these qualities, their presence should be appreciated.
The man, father or dad, all are part of your bloodline, for at the end of everything, it is an extraordinary thing to have someone around whom you can bare your soul to.