Parenthood is a fun and fulfilling but definitely intense journey; a journey you walk without manuals and instructions but only your instincts to go by. You struggle from taking care of a baby, who turns into a toddler, who grows into a moody teen and then becomes an adult, all the while, trying to ensure that you provide the basic needs and strive to bring up well-rounded, well-mannered and responsible children. During this journey, you go through different phases that you are left wishing your kid was a certain age or glad they are not. Many parents go through these periods which then begs the question, do parents of older kids miss when they were toddlers?
I asked a few parents with teens how they feel about their children now. Did they prefer their children now or when they were toddlers? Some wished her children were still toddlers while others said they were happy their children were now older. I was curious to find out why they had different responses.
Some parents were glad that their children are now older and could do things for themselves. They stated that the pressure of constantly looking after a toddler had worn off. Other parents wished that their children were still younger as they now cherished the younger years when their children were innocent and naïve. Some other parents said that they didn’t really prefer any stage as they embraced the ages as something that they had to pass through.
In a nutshell, these were their sentiments which echo most parents’ around the world.
TODDLERS
Cute and cuddly
Who doesn’t like the sight of a small baby? They are cute and cuddly and you always want to kiss and snuggle them. They also don’t talk back and are easy to love. They always offer and accept hugs and comfort while older children might not want you touching them and always have something to say whether good or bad.
Nothing much going on
Apart from eating, sleeping, playing and pooping, toddlers do not have much else going on. They do not have homework, don’t have to wake up early to catch the school bus, and don’t have sports practice or somewhere important to be. They are easier to handle and compared to the hectic lives of older children.
Toddler years are harder
On the other hand, when children are younger, they are fully dependent on you. You have to feed, carry, bathe, and soothe them among a whole host of other things. They are totally helpless without you. You have to be on high alert when they start crawling, walking and touching things so as not to hurt themselves. You have to wake up late in the night when they are hungry, sick or uncomfortable. Children around this age are tedious and a lot of energy goes into their wellbeing.
They throw tantrums and are a handful
Not only are they hard to handle, they can cause a lot of frustrations as they grow up. A child going through her terrible 2’s stage can get on ones nerve and get you to your wits end. These tantrums are sometimes hard to control because sometimes they do not fully understand at that age.
They are clingy
Toddlers are clingy and want a lot of attention. Sometimes a child might want you to carry or be with them for hours on end. They go through separation anxiety and in turn, the parent gets exhausted and might be unproductive and even irritable.
Can’t communicate effectively
It is hard to communicate and understand things between a parent and toddler. A toddler might get frustrated when a parent does not understand their rumblings and go into a fit. The same occurs to parents who try to communicate to the child but are unable to understand what they are being told.
OLDER KIDS
For older kids, some parents are quick to offer that older kids are much easier to handle, talk to and communicate with unlike younger children. Some of the reasons they gave include;
Independence
Parents with older kids said they were happy that their children were now older because they were now independent. They no longer had to feed, wash, and hold their kids anymore. Older children were easy to deal with unlike toddlers.
Communication
Communication is easier between parents and older kids who don’t throw fits and tantrums to have their way. They are able to sit down, talk and discuss things in a sensible and reasonable manner. This makes it easier for parents.
Terrible teenage years
But as much as younger kids can be nerve-wracking, older kids especially those in their teenage years have proven to also be a handful as they go through puberty and adolescence. They are never cooperative, have attitudes and are rebellious. These years are emotionally tasking for the parents who sometimes wish they had never grown up.
Busy lives
Parents have to deal with the constant thriving lives of their older children and keep up with whatever is going on. Parents have to plan their lives accordingly to accommodate their older kids’ schedules. These schedules run around school, homework, sports, extracurricular activities, participation in events among other many things.
As one mom said, little kids are physically exhausting while big kids are emotionally exhausting. This is true as you have to run around and constantly be on toes with your toddlers but have to be mentally ready to deal with older children especially teens.
While some parents are happy that the late night feedings, diaper changes, daycare and baby sitters are now a thing of the past, others wish their older children would have remained that way as they were innocent and easier to handle.
All in all, it all falls back to how your child turned out to be or which age the parent connected with the most. It is important to also note that some parents who have children with special needs, or deal with troubled children since childhood do not necessarily have a preference as most experiences usually stay the same for them.
Are you a parent of older kids? Do you miss when they were young? Let’s hear your say …