What it feels like to be a mother
One day, my husband and I took our son to a doctor’s appointment. In his usual checks, the doctor pointed out that he had added just five grams to his weight! I was so disappointed with myself and afterward spent endless days googling “how to get a baby to add weight.” On the other hand, his dad seemed unbothered and was of the idea that as long as the boy is healthy, there is no reason to worry. At some point, the dad lost his job. During our usual family talks, I was for the idea that we withdraw the child from the daycare. His dad opposed the idea and said he had no clue how to take care of a toddler. I kept asking myself, why doesn’t he feel like a failure for not knowing what to do with his son? The obvious answer is because he is a dad. The response got me thinking, what if I loosen up a bit, think like a dad , and act like a mom? Would parenting not be a bliss?
Society expectations
We are operating in a society with biased expectations. Dads have the luxury of being considered good parents even when all they do is parent, without being bashed much. Moms, on the other hand, are not so lucky. The society holds moms responsible for the children’s behaviors, academic achievements, habits, and general grooming. When the children do not turn out right as per the societal expectations, then moms are the ones that get blamed, whereas the dads take a back seat. In efforts to avoid these criticisms, moms end up worrying over things that are not worth it.
Why Think Like a Dad and Act Like a Mom?
Any parent, be it a mom or a dad, want the same thing for their children; to bring up children who are safe, happy, and well taken care of. The difference between a dad and a mom is that dads don’t take this desire to the extreme. Mothers are emotionally invested in the kids, whereas the dads are not. Moms tend to think that providing high-quality products for their children will earn them the good mom trophy. Thinking like a dad means that you can prepare a snack for your children without having to be bothered by the thought if the bite is healthy enough for them. As long as they enjoy, well, pat yourself at the back and watch as they devour it. It is time to get our sanity back. The question is, how do I think Like a dad and act like a mom? Follow the tips below, and you will always enjoy parenting
View Situations Through a Dad’s Eyes
Thinking like a dad and acting like a mom is easy. Any time you start falling into the trap of self-doubt and paranoia about a decision related to parenting, quickly stop and address the situation from the viewpoint of the children’s dad. If, for example, you are out shopping for diapers. You are wondering if to pick the brand that is the talk of the town or to choose the usual brand that is not so popular, get yourself thinking, wouldn’t your husband count himself a superhero by just remembering to buy diapers in the first place? Go ahead and pick your usual brand with no second thought.
Worry Less
Moms report more significant fatigue, less happiness, and more stress during the time that they spend with their children as compared to the time that dads spend with their children. A dad limits his worrying unless it is necessary to get worried. A Dad tends to be the fun dad, whereas the mom shoulders the mental burdens. When a dad is busy chasing the kids with the pillows and rolling all over the sitting room, You will often find the mom busy booking the doctors’ appointments and organizing the kids’ birthday parties.
In place of spending time freaking over things that are not essential, invest the time into more productive use like reading or poaching for a better paying job.
Stay Calm
Thinking like a dad and acting like a mom means that you have to balance your thinking, especially when in adverse situations. Panicking will blank you out of solution and leave you more confused, worried, and upset. You realize that if you do not panic or react, you quickly think of a solution.
Never feel guilty or anxious about any parenting decision that you make. Just stick to the faith that whatever decision that you have made will work out for the best.
Spend fun time with the kids
Whereas dads prioritize what is fun for them when with the kids, moms tend to prioritize what needs to complete. A dad will put every other task aside to have a fun time with the kids. Moms, on the other hand, handle multiple things at the same time. When striving to multitask, you end up with halfway done tasks. Single-tasking decrease stressing, and you complete tasks faster.
Children should see you as someone present, fun to be with, and not overly stressed other than someone who is continually trying to do two or more things at a go.
Delegate motherly duties to others
Thinking like a dad means that you will have the laundry and cleaning done and still have the liberty to spend quality time during the weekend. To achieve this, outsource services that you can afford, like house cleaning. Having someone else handle the tasks gives you time to enjoy being with the kids and not worry about house chores. From time to time, get a caregiver to look after the children as you enjoy a fun time with the girls without feeling guilty about it.
Putting Yourself First
Thinking like a dad means setting a high standard for yourself first and letting your children come second. You are the role model that your children emulate. As a mom, you need to learn that it is okay to put yourself first instead of dropping everything for everybody else. Focusing on self-care is necessary and not selfish. It means that you give priority to activities that rejuvenate your energy and motivation. Set goals and commit to achieving them without letting distractions get on the way.
A Parting Shot
Thinking like a dad does not give you the leeway to stop acting like a mom. Ensure that the children get the necessary attention, the dishes are clean, laundry done, and the house cleaned. However, do not obsess about the negligible aspects of the cleaning. It is okay to get some corners of the house, not in such a perfect condition. Embrace the idea of having stuff done without getting into distress. Accept good enough and stop striving for five-star parenting. Good enough means good as per your standards. So long as your children feel loved and secure, don’t beat yourself over the head trying to be the perfect parent.
Did this information benefit you or give you an insight? Let’s hear your say. Leave us a comment below so we know we are walking the journey with you.