Pregnancy is one of the most beautiful times a woman could ever dream of. A woman celebrates the fact that they are about to bring forth life. But not for Norah; well not at first anyway. You see, Norah had just realized that she was pregnant just a few months into her relationship with Bill. She was not ready for marriage, let alone motherhood. When she let Bill know, he was ecstatic to say the least. She had expected him to feel the same that they were not ready, but that was not the case. A week into her realization, she had put much thought into getting rid of the pregnancy and had practiced on how she would let Bill know. Turns out, Bill had plans of himself; he surprised Norah with a huge engagement party in front of friends and family and announced that they were expectant. Her plans were quickly thwarted and she had no option but to keep it.
During the first one month, she fell into some sort of depression. She really never wanted the pregnancy and went online to find home remedies of procuring an abortion, and she would announce that she had had a miscarriage. She tried several ways but stuck to taking a lot of alcohol and smoking cigarettes, which was her thing anyway. Bill escorted her to the first antenatal visit where some tests were run and scans were carried out. She was asked to collect the results in a week’s time but since Bill had to work, much to her delight, she went by herself. She found out that their Rhesus factor was not compatible and that she needed to start on some medication. She decided not to inform Bill about it.
During her second month of pregnancy, she had perfected the art of taking alcohol without Bill ever noticing. She was mostly asleep which she credited to morning sickness and Bill would take care of her like a baby. With her vast knowledge of the first trimester, she knew that this was the time that the fetus grew the most; with the amniotic sac, the placenta, and the umbilical cord all forming at this time. Also, all the major systems and organs were forming and were most susceptible to drugs, alcohol, and certain medication. She was using this information to her advantage.
Norah was so determined to get rid of the pregnancy and contemplated going to a pharmacy to buy the abortion pill. But abortion was illegal in her country, what if she got arrested, what if Bill and her friends and family found out, there were so many risks involved so she opted to continue with her home remedies. She decided not to take her prenatal medication and always flushed down her dosage down the toilet. She had been asked to eat certain foods to increase her iron and blood count but she deliberately refused to eat. She skipped her antenatal visits and always told Bill that she had gone and that everything was okay.
All this she did, nothing ever came to fruition. She was now entering her second trimester with no sign of losing the pregnancy. One day, as she was running errands, she bumped into some of her close friends who insisted on taking her out to eat. While there, they were so excited to see her and asked her how she felt that she was bringing forth life and that she had a great man who supported her. She pretended to be happy and grateful but a sudden twinge of guilt coursed through her body. She hadn’t thought about the baby, she had only thought of herself. She hadn’t realized that she might be carrying a son or daughter and that they might make her happy. What if God was angry with her for trying to get rid of the blessing he had bestowed upon her? What if He never blesses her with another pregnancy for all the wrong she had done? As she said goodbye to her friends, she drove home crying and guilty of all she had done.
That same week, she went to hospital and had a scan and some tests run. Her baby was not growing as it should, its organs had not developed as expected but the doctor recommended some medication to see if things would go okay. She cried due to this realization and for once touched her belly and talked to her child. She was sorry for all the pain she had made her go through. Every time she saw Bill, who was always happy and excited, she always felt ashamed of what she had done. It hit her hard when she comprehended the fact that Bill was also a parent in this. Why was she this selfish? But she would never let him know about her doings during the first trimester. It would break him.
Norah was now desperate to make sure that no damage had come to her child during the first trimester. She started attending antenatal clinics in a different hospital because she was scared that the doctor from their regular one would inform Bill. At 7 months pregnant, her blood pressure shot up and she had to go to hospital. At the hospital, they informed her that she might lose the pregnancy if they didn’t operate on her immediately. She signed her own consent forms and was wheeled into surgery. When asked if there was someone they should call, he said no.
After delivery, and after she had woken up, she found herself in a recovery room. She rang for help and a nurse came in to check on her. She asked for her baby and a doctor came in to see her. The doctor wheeled her to where her child was. She was in an incubator; face deformed, low birth weight and had severe birth defects. The doctor further explained that her blood vessels were narrow due to the use of nicotine and that the damage was permanent. He explained to her that the child might not survive long because of the severe damage caused by the alcohol. And that if she would, she would have intellectual disabilities, delayed growth, heart and kidney issues, deformed limbs and behavioral issues.
Norah broke down crying. As she went back to her room, she thought of Bill and how he had wronged him. He must be worried. She switched on her phone and found over 100 missed calls from him, friends and family. She called Bill and told him where he was and said sorry. Bill had spent the whole day looking for her and was now headed to the police station to report her missing when she called. He couldn’t understand why she was apologizing. Norah, put on her clothes, and hid her hospital gown. She pulled up her hoodie and started to walk out of hospital. And just as luck would have it, it was visiting hours and the gates were opened. She walked slowly and mixed in with the huge crowd going in and coming out. She was never seen again.